FALL IS CREEPING UP ON US!
It seems that the fall season is beginning to happen here in central South Carolina.
There is not a bunch of color yet, but it became obvious on my three miles this morning on the River Walk.
Some of the Sycamore trees are loosing it.
And the Mimosa trees have their seeds drying in the wind.
It seems that parts of nature have already caved to the season. I can identify! I have lived for seventy of these fall seasons and am still hanging on.
But, I think that the time for some serious introspection has begone to overtake me. As you all know I am a photographer of some modest renown.
It says so at the top of this site, so it must be true!
I am at my happiest when I am alone with a camera shooting. Stress the word alone in that previous sentence. Regardless if it be some run down city scenes, parts of nature, lighthouse or sky scenic. I seem to zone out when I am on the job. I guess it is because I am in control of whatever it is I am doing. Or like to think I am. Or my God given eye is in overdrive. That's probably been the route of a lot my problems for a long time.
It's always been my way or the highway. I am now sure that that outlook has given me a great deal of grief in the past.
I always thought that I was a giver rather than a taker. And no one appreciated that fact. But I always "Tried" to be a giver. Maybe that is why I am sometimes amazed that some of my art is not accepted by the buyer. I love it, but they did not. How wierd is that!
Self perception!
My parents and grandparents were the first to introduce me to nature, and as I have said here before I had the run of a hundred acre farm until the third grade. All those old mental images led me to become a hunter, fisherman, and finally a cameraman. The guns are gone, so when I say shoot it is with the camera.
I am not a religious man, sad to say, but I do feel that I commune when out in nature and particularly when I am out alone. I fear however, most of my outdoor communication has always been with myself and not Him. Another example of the "My way or the highway" concept. Probably not a good attitude when advancing fall seasons make you feel like your hanging on without a grip!
There have been a number of things at which I have been successful. But a number of things of which I am not proud. In fact, a lot of things that no one would be proud of and there is a huge responsibility I carry for my past actions. Not to mention guilt. And it's hard to speak of it on here.
It took eight years of college for me to get two degrees, twenty five years of so-so work in New York City and it's environs, and about 21 years trying to make the photography business a success on a shoe string. It seems that I have always operated on a shoe string. I messed up a 42 year marriage because I talked only to myself and in the quite moments, this weighs heavily upon me. I have moved on with a wonderful woman who actually puts up with my crap!
I have two children (not children any more) with great spouses and four grand kids. All are great people without the more serious problems that plague our times. In that regard I am fortunate.
Once when I said to my son (who is a far more insightful than me), all I did with my life was to help raise two great kids. His answer was "And what else is there?" He was and is right. And for that I am grateful, but I am not even sure I had all that much to do with it. Their mother is and was the best mother that God ever created. And she talks to Him.
Somewhere along the line, I am going to have to start giving credit to the real creator of all those wonderful images I've made over the years. I guess a higher power has been watching over me after all.
The first photographs I ever took even semi-seriously were after the automobile accident death of my father and the hospitalization of my mother. The company I worked for at the time, gave point and shoot cameras to the employees in lieu of cash as a year end bonus. That really impressed us all!
But I used that camera as a catharsis, driving back and forth from central New Jersey, where we lived, to the hospital in Delaware, and then on to maintain my parents property on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. We shot film back then and some of the photos actually turned out pretty well.
Expensive as all get out.....film $3.50.......Processing $11.50......Soothing of grief....Priceless!
And that's the start of it all. Still trying to make the business a success monetarily while doing it without a substantial and consistent money source.
When asked by neophytes, "What does it take to be a successful photographer?"
My answer is simple. Money, time, and an eye. Without the first two, the third will probably not make you a Nat Geo contributor.
The money part is obvious....equipment and travel expenses.
The time part will often take the place of meaningful relationships.
And the eye is something given to you by a higher power than you ever will be.
This year is the 40th for the Waterfowl Festival in Easton, Maryland. I have been showing there for 21 years and am the senior photographer. I have been blessed to continue to be invited to that show and always look forward to seeing old friends and making new ones. The turnover of photographers is not great, as most of the work is the best in the country. In this regard I feel blessed and would love to show there when the show is fifty. But I have the feeling somebody else is going to be in control of that.
The summer has been most hot here, and the seventy-ish temperatures are welcome. The day has shortened as I notice last night-----it was dark by 7:30 and daylight saving time is approaching. Soon we will have Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and then look forward to doing the summer all over again.
I can't wait!
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